The following blog was first published on my WordPress.com blog five years ago.
The loss of a loved one is never easy. Whether the loss is sudden or expected does not matter. The hurt is just as heavy. The hurt is not solitary either. It ripples. The stone of loss splashes causing the wave of its pain to crash upon the shores of countless others. All around it is noticed. How great is its effect.
Memories flood in from time spent accompanied by those times lost. Those hurt the worst. Recounting all the calls you should have made or the dinners you should have attended. Seems to you now all those excuses are silly and insignificant. Life just gets busy and you forget the importance of taking time for those you love. You try and imagine life without them, that you can somehow be okay, but there they are, still here. That’s all you can see now. How can you imagine them gone? In reality you just can’t. You just can’t.
Let me begin by saying it’s okay to cry. If you’re a big, beastly fellow who would never cry because your beard could not handle the excess moisture caused by the weird substance coming from your eyes, then mourn. You must get it out. Let this take its course. I do not care who you are. You’re going to have to deal with this loss. So deal. Realize and mourn. It’s okay. Let it go. Jesus wept.( John 11:35). He is much stronger than you.
For those in Christ, we have a pillow to lay our heads upon. The sovereign God we serve. Run to Him. Call out and talk to Him. This may be mixed with that emotion of mourning, but go to God. He is in control and nothing takes Him by surprise. I could never understand how one could endure without Him. Be there for others.
Again, you’re not the only one hurt by this. This can be your opportunity to share the hope that is within you, Christ Jesus. Don’t cram it down their throats, but be the example they need at this moment and love them. When you can smile during this pain, others will wonder how. Tell them.
If the loved one who is passing is not a follower of Christ, if possible, share the hope with them as well. The thief on the cross beside Jesus called to Him in his last moments that Christ would remember him when He entered into His Kingdom. Christ told him, “today, you will be with me in Paradise”. (Luke 23:42). Share the Gospel with your loved one.
If your loved one be in Christ, oh think of the joy they will experience as they see their Savior. What a sight that will be! They get to experience the gain of the life to come. That brings me much joy. So it should you too. If possible read to them the scriptures as they prepare to go and you prepare to say goodbye.
But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep …. and so we will always be with the Lord. Therefore encourage one another with these words. 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14,17b-18. ESV
My prayer is that in some way this will help you during a time of preparation of losing a loved one. If before or after the loss, trust in the Lord through it all. Soli Deo Gloria.
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